Close Encounters of the Male Kind: Excerpt from Chapter 2

Close Encounters of the Male Kind

Excerpt from Chapter Two

“The Crush”

          How I wish I could forget my early days of high school. How I wish I could forget the one person that could pierce my heart with just a single glance in my direction. One glance would hold me over for weeks, and to this day, I remember exactly what I was wearing the one time he told me I looked nice. I sincerely hope I am not the only delusional soul that has had an experience like this in their younger years, especially since I’m putting it out here for the world to see. In the event that I am the only delusional soul with this ‘issue’ – well, the one psychiatrist that is reading…this is where you can step in.
          I had a brief encounter with this man in my early teen years. He was popular. I was not. He was adorable. I was not. He was cruel at times, and I was not. His shoes were always so white, piercing eyes, broad shoulders, a button nose if I ever really saw one, and the most incredible bubble butt I have ever seen on a man’s figure. I really don’t know what magnetic force field propelled me to this man, time and time again…but it did. I have witnessed him being cruel, unkind, selfish, inconsiderate, and masterfully manipulative; yet I still pined for him. Why is this? I made it to second base with this guy and we never talked after that. I got grounded for nearly three weeks for that little escapade (the punishment was worth every minute).
          Low and behold, out of the blue, over twelve years later…he contacts me…on Myspace; Myspace. To those of us who first design a page, a delight. To those of us who move on to a more productive means of networking, perhaps face to face communications…just a small stepping stone. To those of us where Myspace serves as a link between you and your biggest crush ever…the best advancement in internet technology since dial up jumped to broadband.
          First, it started as catching up. Then, we moved onto instant messaging. Then the texting began. Next thing you know, I’m hanging out with him at the local watering hole. He dragged me out to the parking lot to listen to his latest and greatest mix. I remember being really impressed by his liking for Stevie Wonder.  We Have So Much in Common!  Blinded by the crush-o-meter with this man, I neglected to consider the number of Stevie Wonder fans in the world. I neglected to consider the fact that the man was a twenty five Grammy award winner or that he had produced nearly two hundred number one hits. Who the f* doesn’t like Stevie Wonder? He handed me a best of best mix, that I still listen to today. I neglected to consider the other twelve girls posting, “Thanks so much for your mix, I love it and listen to it every day!” (Probably while they’re pooping!)
          The last encounter I had with him, I vowed to never involve myself with him again. There were so many brief moments where this inner person would peep out and say or do something so genuine, so sweet and thoughtful. So out of character, and I think it was this that kept me going back. I think it was the commonality we shared at that point in our lives. I think this commonality we shared provided us both brief glimpses of comfort. I’ve always known deep down that if I had ever had the opportunity to be with this person, that I most likely wouldn’t be interested. I’m not walking blind. I know exactly what sits in front of me. How you say? Wash, rinse, and repeat. What sits in front of me is not going to measure up to my ‘crush’ – and no one will because seventy five percent of this ‘idea’ was a complete fabrication stemming from hot horny teenage dreams - not even close to the harsh reality I had received over, and over, and over again while pining for this guy. I’m not even his type (thankfully so), and as painful as it is for me to say this aloud, I really don’t think that he’s mine.
          This is what I mean about realization. I have a hard time not being over-skeptical – but people…you have to be a little skeptical. Look at the reality of the situation. The reality of my situation with this guy is that we were both lonely. It is that simple. Now you go and be simple. Don’t let illusions or false expectations support a disappointment. It took me a long time to realize this…but I’m happy with the outcome. After all is said and done…he will always be a friend (even if the guy has made me feel like crap, several times warmed over).
          I digress...it was me making myself feel like crap several times warmed over. I did this by not feeling confident and by letting stupid trivial things overwhelm my judgment. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am talented. I am funny, successful, ambitious, caring, devoted, and a wonderful mother. If you’ve been in the field for as long as I have, you will come to find that there aren’t many people that can measure up to all of that. So, back to approaching this from a different angle; no longer will I be, “Bitter, party of one!”  Que Sera, Sera...whatever will be will be.  I do know one thing for certain...if someone isn't treating you with equal respect, they aren't worth your time.  There are plenty more fish in the sea, and it is so sad...so very, very, sad...that most of them are liable to be chapters in this book.

We Have So Much in Common!

My friends...I use this phrase in a joking manner almost always - and I just want to take a few moments to give you some background.

When e.d. and I had met for the first time, we were laughing about how lame dating has become.  How so many people assume they have so much in common...and then find out a month later that they were completely wrong for eachother...initiating somewhat of a shocked response.

B:  "I love to snorkel!"
G:  "Oh my Gosh!  Me too!"
B:  "Have you ever gone snorkeling in the Caribbean?"
G:  "Once while I was on my honeymoon (lol)"
B:  "Oh thats cool...I've gone snorkeling at Metro...you know...I go and look for lose change"

Seriously?  People.  How often do you snorkel?  How often does anyone snorkel?  Even if you are blessed with oceanside property...how often do you snorkel?

This is where commonality meets enjoyable activities...they are NOT one in the same.

If you are looking to meet someone for the long haul...wake up and pay attention!

If you spend 50% of your time working, 10% of your time maintaining the homestead, 20% of your time tending to your children, 20% of your time sleeping...try to look for someone that can handle spending at least 50% of their time at home.

You need to find someone that can take the day to day blows with you...and get back up with only minor scrapes.  You need to find someone that enjoys doing yardwork, if that is how you spend 80% of your days in the summertime.  Lastly, you need to find someone that you can live with, period.  Someone that will make you laugh when you finally say, you know what, its Saturday, but I really need to clean the damn bathroom.  I don't want to, I'm not going to enjoy it...so please just stand there and amuse me while I get this done.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Nina...when was the last time you sustained a relationship?"  I know, I know...I guess I'm just waiting to meet the one guy that gets just as turned on as I do about coupon clipping and rock shows on PBS.

P.S.  I always have the best intentions when it comes to coupon use...but I have probably used maybe five coupons in my entire life (4 at DSW).  I just really enjoy cutting them...and laughing about the marketing genius behind placing the coupon for smuckers page left from the coupon for tampax.  I know...gross, right?

Who Am I and What am I Doing Here?

This post would best be digested while listening to "Henry Nearly Killed Me, it's a Shame" - Ray Lamontagne


Henry Nearly Killed Me






My name is Antonina, but everyone calls me Nina.  I was named after my Nana...

I have a 4 year old son named Jack, named after my grandfather...

I'm thirty years old.  I was born and raised in the suburbs of Detroit.  I work in the defense industry.  I've got a BBA, specializing in Human Resource Management.  My son and I are raising a tadpole, named Tad.  My family has bound me with multiple creative abilities and interests; therefore I like a lot of things, and cannot devote myself to pursue any one interest.  I do have a passion for writing.  These days I find myself wanting everything life has to offer, but I'm limited to spending most of my time at work.  I enjoy what I do, but is it really for me, or is it just something I pushed myself through for an earnest paycheck?  As my ex-husband once said, "...you are like a hippee, and I'm like a college prep..."  This was his justification as to just how incompatible we were - but really? (he is realizing now just how lame that sounded.  Bet). 

So, yes...I do hold unconventional views.  I think outside the box.  I sing.  I play guitar.  I have a rawnchy and twisted sense of humor at times.  I enjoy my personal time just a little too much.  All of these things fall outside the picturesque virtue of a corporate America.  But!  I am passionate about what I do.  I'm passionate because I'm good at it.  If I could poop regularly, I'd be passionate about that too.  I would bet there are a lot of people standing in these three inch heels (deduct the ladies that give me the death look for wearing them to work).  Its a sad state of affairs when one realizes they devote more time to work, more time responding to others ineptitude, than they devote to their children, family, hobbies, or livelihood.

I loathe mornings...especially those that force my waking.

I loathe people absent of ambition.

I loathe inequality in the workforce.

I love my family.

I love my friends.

I love the prospect of change and new beginnings. 

Why am I here?

I started this blog over two years ago, but my lack of devotion and direction landed me two followers and months upon months of silence.  If you are one of my two previous followers, you will see I've made some changes.  Personally, I've made some changes too.  I intend to use this blog to share some tragic, yet humorous experiences.  I'd like to share my humble opinion on workplace topics of interest.  I would also like to use it as my personal therapist, so if you happen to leave a comment, be sure it isn't one that will send me reeling off the nearest overpass.  Like many of you, I find solace in humoring myself at another's expense.  I will share these with you as well, on special occassions like holidays and fiestas.


Through writing, I hope to get to the bottom of that purpose, or at least narrow it down to one broad topic.


For those of you that have played active roles in my misery, I will spare you your indecencies being made public and provide you a fictitious name of my choosing.  I can assure you, it will be one that suits you perfectly*.


I invite you to comment on my blog with any experiences you would like to share, relevant to the subject topic of each post.  I would accept unrelated comments as well, if thats what moves you.




*Disclaimer:  The fictitious name you are provided will likely be offensive, and cannot be exchanged or returned on or after the date a post is published.