Nearly two hours ago, I looked at the clock and said to myself..."wow, it is only 10:23...I can go to bed now, I'm ready for bed." So here I am...sitting in bed...unable to close my eyes. This insomnia thing has plagued me for nearly two years. I'm not quite sure why I don't allow myself a good night's rest. I would probably have no problem falling asleep that early; but I let my mind wander. It isn't as if I come up with great ideas, lyrics, concepts...or that I'm philosophizing about some major life event...I simply do nothing during these late hours. So why is it I just don't sleep? A question that boggles me today...and there stands a good chance that it will boggle me tomorrow too.
So...on with the show she says.
Today, like every other day, I slept beyond the point in which I had intended on waking. No surprise here. I dabbled a bit on Ray and head out into the wild brush that resides behind my house. It was a great day outside, little to no humidity, bright and sunny, light breeze. I figured since it has been over two months since I had attempted to mow the lawn...well today was the day. You see, I am not the avid...how you say...green thumb-er? Gardening, Landscaping...not my forte'. I killed most of my grass with Weed B Gone. How you ask? I purchased the kind that hooks right up to your garden hose. Seemed easy enough to me. Well...there I was...spraying and spraying...and spraying. It didn't look like anything special was happening. There was no color to this water. There was no odor to this water. Is this thing on???
So...I figured, you know what, I don't have time for this crap...forget this. I unscrewed the spray bottle and just started pouring it on the weeds in the grass. The horrible smell lasted for three days, the same three days I was afraid to step outside of the house for fear of seeing some bright yellow placard on the lawn that read, "THIS BITCH JUST SET US BACK FORTY YEARS ON THE OZONE!" or "THANKS FOR POISONING THE CITY'S WATER SUPPLY."
Well...that was almost two months ago, and believe it or not...I haven't really had much grass grow around these parts! Today, my grass looked less weed ridden, and more like actual grass. So I am happy with this progress I'm making. You live and you learn.
Tomorrow, Bob is coming over to remove my bushes. He's just gonna pull them all out...the atrocities they are. Beastly, gangly, fly-attracting monstrosities of the species they are. Good riddens!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Pfilidoopfilzoop: On Freddie Mercury
As I put Jack to bed tonight, he began to explain to me in Toddlerbabble the scientific method involving his milk and how it makes it through to the sippy-lid of his sippy-cup. I believe the sound effect referenced here was "Pfilidoopfilzoop." I tried very hard to look serious during this lesson because I did not want to convey that this was by any means a subject topic not worth my undivided attention.
Forever, as a member of the female gender, I have been perplexed at a male's ability to produce such realistic sound effects. In my short-lived life, I have attempted the "machine gun", the "car", a "motorcycle", and various animals in mating; none of which I have mastered; all sounding similar to the next. Having a young boy has certainly increased my desire to master such skill.
Now, as it stands, I witnessed my son giving a go at producing his own realistic sound effect. I was simply awed by this. Of course, this does not include first words like "boom" or "beep". I mean, something as complex as "Pfilidoopfilzoop"? He isn't even three yet! Definitely a boy. I am one proud mom. Not only did he articulate the process of milk entering the fast flow valve and entering the sippy-lid, he related a sound effect in which this occurs. Not audible by any other person than the 'drinker'. For reasons unknown, I feel this is a stepping stone to brilliance.
In recent months, Jack has also identified a bond between himself and Mr. Freddie Mercury. For those of you that don't know who this is...Freddie Mercury was the lead singer of Queen, brilliant artist, not very aesthetically pleasing to the eye, gay, who died of the AIDS virus some time ago. Jack has decided to be Freddie Mercury for Halloween. This stifling announcement excites me, and worries me all at the same time. I am excited to participate in costume design, and also to not have to contribute to any character idol (last year's Mickey Mouse - not so thrilled) that lacks originality. I am worried to promote this type of dress to my toddler, as he might see it fit to resume his full costume dress throughout the year. He has already deemed his winter boots as "Queen" boots and insists that he wear them all of the time. He peed in these boots and I have washed them - they have been drying for four days. No matter where I hide them...he finds them. He comes swantering out of nowhere in these winter boots, usually on the wrong feet, insisting that he where these "Queen" boots, "like-ah Freddee Mul-cullly".
I actually learned "We Will Rock You" on my acoustic - a bluesy version of my own of course - so that we can rock out together. It is our hope that by practice we can get this act up for public viewing.
Till Next Time...
Forever, as a member of the female gender, I have been perplexed at a male's ability to produce such realistic sound effects. In my short-lived life, I have attempted the "machine gun", the "car", a "motorcycle", and various animals in mating; none of which I have mastered; all sounding similar to the next. Having a young boy has certainly increased my desire to master such skill.
Now, as it stands, I witnessed my son giving a go at producing his own realistic sound effect. I was simply awed by this. Of course, this does not include first words like "boom" or "beep". I mean, something as complex as "Pfilidoopfilzoop"? He isn't even three yet! Definitely a boy. I am one proud mom. Not only did he articulate the process of milk entering the fast flow valve and entering the sippy-lid, he related a sound effect in which this occurs. Not audible by any other person than the 'drinker'. For reasons unknown, I feel this is a stepping stone to brilliance.
In recent months, Jack has also identified a bond between himself and Mr. Freddie Mercury. For those of you that don't know who this is...Freddie Mercury was the lead singer of Queen, brilliant artist, not very aesthetically pleasing to the eye, gay, who died of the AIDS virus some time ago. Jack has decided to be Freddie Mercury for Halloween. This stifling announcement excites me, and worries me all at the same time. I am excited to participate in costume design, and also to not have to contribute to any character idol (last year's Mickey Mouse - not so thrilled) that lacks originality. I am worried to promote this type of dress to my toddler, as he might see it fit to resume his full costume dress throughout the year. He has already deemed his winter boots as "Queen" boots and insists that he wear them all of the time. He peed in these boots and I have washed them - they have been drying for four days. No matter where I hide them...he finds them. He comes swantering out of nowhere in these winter boots, usually on the wrong feet, insisting that he where these "Queen" boots, "like-ah Freddee Mul-cullly".
I actually learned "We Will Rock You" on my acoustic - a bluesy version of my own of course - so that we can rock out together. It is our hope that by practice we can get this act up for public viewing.
Till Next Time...
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