Nearly two hours ago, I looked at the clock and said to myself..."wow, it is only 10:23...I can go to bed now, I'm ready for bed." So here I am...sitting in bed...unable to close my eyes. This insomnia thing has plagued me for nearly two years. I'm not quite sure why I don't allow myself a good night's rest. I would probably have no problem falling asleep that early; but I let my mind wander. It isn't as if I come up with great ideas, lyrics, concepts...or that I'm philosophizing about some major life event...I simply do nothing during these late hours. So why is it I just don't sleep? A question that boggles me today...and there stands a good chance that it will boggle me tomorrow too.
So...on with the show she says.
Today, like every other day, I slept beyond the point in which I had intended on waking. No surprise here. I dabbled a bit on Ray and head out into the wild brush that resides behind my house. It was a great day outside, little to no humidity, bright and sunny, light breeze. I figured since it has been over two months since I had attempted to mow the lawn...well today was the day. You see, I am not the avid...how you say...green thumb-er? Gardening, Landscaping...not my forte'. I killed most of my grass with Weed B Gone. How you ask? I purchased the kind that hooks right up to your garden hose. Seemed easy enough to me. Well...there I was...spraying and spraying...and spraying. It didn't look like anything special was happening. There was no color to this water. There was no odor to this water. Is this thing on???
So...I figured, you know what, I don't have time for this crap...forget this. I unscrewed the spray bottle and just started pouring it on the weeds in the grass. The horrible smell lasted for three days, the same three days I was afraid to step outside of the house for fear of seeing some bright yellow placard on the lawn that read, "THIS BITCH JUST SET US BACK FORTY YEARS ON THE OZONE!" or "THANKS FOR POISONING THE CITY'S WATER SUPPLY."
Well...that was almost two months ago, and believe it or not...I haven't really had much grass grow around these parts! Today, my grass looked less weed ridden, and more like actual grass. So I am happy with this progress I'm making. You live and you learn.
Tomorrow, Bob is coming over to remove my bushes. He's just gonna pull them all out...the atrocities they are. Beastly, gangly, fly-attracting monstrosities of the species they are. Good riddens!
